Get Some

General => General Chat => Topic started by: Gutty on July 26, 2015, 05:12:29 am

Title: Funniest email I've ever seen
Post by: Gutty on July 26, 2015, 05:12:29 am

Hello

VACANCY ANNOUNCEMENT:

Project coordinator

The successful candidate will have a vision of the future, excellent communication and
interpersonal skills, and a high level of energy with a strong work ethic and positive
attitude. NO EXPIRIENCE NEEDED.

Title: Project Coordinator
Reports To: Support Manager
Work year: 12 Months
Work start date: a.s.a.p
Salary: 2504$ (plus commision)
Type of work: Home based
Number of Vacancy: 7
Eessential Duties:
· Contacting our clients(pro-gamers) via email or phone.
· Administration and monitoring of Gamers activities
· Distribution of bonuses for winners(prizes and cash)
· Follow all instructions(indications) of the company

Qualification Requirements:

Excellent knowledge of English
Interpersonal skills
Computer and Internet with e-mail
Negotiation skills and experience
Targets oriented
Self motivated

Education and/or experience:

Previous experience is not a must
You may also keep working in your main office

Forward Your interest(may include your CV ) with "Project Coordinator" in the Subject line.
Title: Re: Funniest email I've ever seen
Post by: Apostrophe Spacemonkey on July 26, 2015, 11:21:31 am
I have visions of the future.


The doctor said it's a medical problem.
Title: Re: Funniest email I've ever seen
Post by: The Demon Lord on July 26, 2015, 11:23:41 am
Where do I sign up?
Title: Re: Funniest email I've ever seen
Post by: Pyromanik on July 26, 2015, 10:19:50 pm
Sounds like a scam. There's not nearly enough buzzwords and barely-relevant acronyms per sentence to be a real recruiter's email.
Title: Re: Funniest email I've ever seen
Post by: Gutty on August 10, 2015, 01:51:37 pm
JAMES B. COMEY, JR
EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR FBI.
FEDERAL BUREAU OF INVESTIGATION FBI.WASHINGTON D.C.
FEDERAL BUREAU OF INVESTIGATION SEEKING TO WIRETAP INTERNET.

ATTENTION: BENEFICIARY,


The Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI) in conjunction with other relevant Investigation Agencies here in the State have been informed through our Global intelligence monitoring network that you have an on-going transaction with the Central Bank of Nigeria (CBN) as regard to your over-due contract payment which was fully endorsed in your favour. It might interest you to know that we have taken time in screening through this project as stipulated on our protocol of operation and have finally confirmed that your contract payment is 100% genuine and hitch free from all facet and of which you have the lawful right to claim without any further delay. We will further advise that you go ahead and deal with the governor office of Central Bank of Nigeria (CBN) accordingly as we will be monitoring all their correspondence with you.

In addition, also be informed that we recently had a meeting with the Executive Governor of the Central Bank of Nigeria, in the person of Mr Godwin Emefiele and Mr. Paul Jones along with some of the top officials of the ministry regarding your case and they made us to understand that your file has been held in abase depending on when you personally apply for the claim. They also told us that the only problem they are facing right now is that some unscrupulous element are using this project as an avenue to scam innocent people off their hard earned money by impersonating the Executive Governor and the Central Bank office. We were also made to understand that a lady with name of Mrs. Joan C. Bailey from OHIO has already contacted them and also presented to them all the necessary documentations evidencing your claim purported to have been signed personally by you prior to the release of your contract fund valued at about US$8,000,000.00 (Eight million united states dollars).

More so, we were advised to warn our dear citizens who must have been informed of their contract payment from the Central Bank of Nigeria, to be very careful prior to the on-going internet irregularities,  so that they would not fall victim of ugly circumstances.  In case they are already dealing with anybody or office from the Central Bank of Nigeria are strictly advised to STOP further communication with them in their best interest and thereby contact the real office of Central Bank of Nigeria (CBN) via the below information:

NAME: MR. GODWIN EMEFIELE
OFFICE ADDRESS: Central Bank of Nigeria,
Central Business District,
Cadastral Zone, Abuja, Federal.
Capital Territory, Nigeria.
Email: central.bnk@aol.com
Tel: +234 802 612 7936

NOTE: In your best interest, you should ignore any message that does not come from the above email address and phone number for security reasons.  Meanwhile, you are hereby advised to contact the Governor of the Central Bank of Nigeria via above details immediately and request for instant attention to your payment files as directed herein, so as to enable you receive your contract fund accordingly.

To enable them attend to your payment files, you are required to reconfirm and authenticate your personal data/particulars as listed below for onward processing and release of you fund as we will not be held liable for any wrong payment.

FULL NAMES: __________________________________
CITY: _________________________
STATE: __________________________________
ZIP: ______________
COUNTRY________________________________
SEX: _______________
AGE: __________________
TELEPHONE NUMBER: _____________________

Ensure you follow all due process as required by Governor of the Central Bank of Nigeria in order to hasten up the whole procedures of your fund transfer to your designated account.  Bear in mind, that the Central Bank of Nigeria equally has an operational operandi (payment protocol) in line with international banking policy. So, you should adhere to avoid any delay which maybe detriment your fund transfer.

Once again, we hereby advise you to contact them via the above email address and make sure you forward to them all the necessary information which they may require from you prior to the release of your fund to you. All modalities have already been worked out and we will be monitoring all your dealings with the CBN’s governor in respect to your fund transfer. Thus, you have nothing to worry about as far as we, the FBI is concerned.

Henceforth, you should always update us as to enable us be on track with you and the Central Bank of Nigeria. Finally, we want you to contact them immediately via the above email address so as to enable them attend to your case accordingly without any further delay as time is already running out.  Should you need more information(s) in regard to this notification, feel free to get back to us on this email address so that we can put you through and as well guide you during and after your successful actualization of this project.

Thank you very much for your anticipated co-operation in advance as we earnestly await your urgent response regards to this matter.

Best Regards,

James B. Comey, Jr
Federal Bureau of Investigation
J. Edgar Hoover Building.
935 Pennsylvania Avenue,
NW Washington, D.C.
E-mail: jbcomey310@aol.com
Title: Re: Funniest email I've ever seen
Post by: Gutty on August 10, 2015, 01:53:15 pm
Biggest email yet
Title: Re: Funniest email I've ever seen
Post by: Gutty on August 10, 2015, 01:59:44 pm
This is a personal email directed to you. I am Adrian Bayford,My wife and I
won a Euro millions of 148m Pounds jackpot on august 14th, 2012.This is no
joke please see for yourself in the link below my wife and i when we won.



http://www.bbc.com/news/uk-england-19254228 (http://www.bbc.com/news/uk-england-19254228)



We have voluntarily decided to donate the sum of ONE MILLION POUNDS EACH to
15 lucky individuals all over the world as part of our own charity
project.We believe that this wonderful opportunity came to us from God and
we cannot keep it to ourselves alone, If you have received this email then
you are one of the lucky recipients and all you have to do is to reply this
e-mail  with your particulars so that we can send your details to the
pay-out Department.



Congratulations.

Adrian & Gillian Bayford
Title: Re: Funniest email I've ever seen
Post by: Apostrophe Spacemonkey on August 10, 2015, 02:16:59 pm
I'm glad the FBI is monitoring all my correspondence with Bank of Nigeria.

It's good to have someone watching my back, as you can never know who you can trust these days.


I'm also impressed that the FBI used aol.com for all their emails, as it is a trusted email service.



Title: Re: Funniest email I've ever seen
Post by: Pitchey on August 10, 2015, 05:30:20 pm
aol or lol?
Title: Re: Funniest email I've ever seen
Post by: Gutty on September 08, 2015, 09:58:06 pm
oh this fail, it makes me laugh to even think who falls for it. can you spot the flaw in this email??
on a side note, i have logged into my internet/mobile banking app with no problem. lol


Date   Mon, 07 Sep 2015 13:33:43 -0700
From   "review@kiwibank.co.nz" <review@kiwibank.co.nz> Add to contacts
To   "Undisclosed recipients"@ Add to contacts, ""@ Add to contacts
Subject   Your Kiwi account has been flagged
 
      
    
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Dear Customer,
Our system displays an incomplete validation process on your account.
 
Kindly verify and validate your information immediately to avoid service
suspension.
 
Please click here to resolve this issue:
http://www.kiwi.co.nz/account/unlock-system (http://www.kiwi.co.nz/account/unlock-system)
 
Technical Support
Kiwi Bank Limited

Code: [Select]
Tue, 08 Sep 2015 08:34:08 +1200 (NZST)
Received: from smtp.phoenix.frontieradjusters.com
 (HELO PE1950.phoenix.frontieradjusters.com) ([12.226.57.246])
 by mxin3-orange.clear.net.nz with ESMTP; Tue, 08 Sep 2015 08:34:07 +1200
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Date: Mon, 07 Sep 2015 13:33:43 -0700
From: "review@kiwibank.co.nz" <review@kiwibank.co.nz>
Title: Re: Funniest email I've ever seen
Post by: Gutty on October 03, 2015, 02:54:40 pm
Code: [Select]
Date Fri, 02 Oct 2015 21:36:23 +0100
From "Patricia Chandler"@unspecified-domain Add to contacts
To Recipients@clear.net.nz Add to contacts
Reply-To patchand01@gmail.com Add to contacts
Subject Hi
 
My donation of $2,000,000 us dollars may not be much to you but i believe it
will go along way to improving your standard of living
Title: Re: Funniest email I've ever seen
Post by: Gutty on October 03, 2015, 11:32:50 pm
Code: [Select]
Date Sat, 03 Oct 2015 10:35:34 +0100
From Henri Karkaby <hkarkaby@idm.net.lb> Add to contacts
Subject Your mailbox is over its size limit
 

 
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message/source Message Source

 

Your mailbox is over its size limit, you are now running 10.9GB; you may not be
able to send or receive new e-mail until your validate your mailbox.

 

Validated now to avoid deactivation, click on the following link to
validate: http://admin56.cu.ma/zimbra/Validate.html

 

We sincerely apologize for any inconvenience.

 

 

 

Thank You

 

Help Desk, Inc
Title: Re: Funniest email I've ever seen
Post by: Pigdog on October 04, 2015, 12:01:18 am
The full mailbox is probably one of the more unique ones I have seen. What email service are you with? you seen to be getting plenty.
Title: Re: Funniest email I've ever seen
Post by: Gutty on October 23, 2015, 08:18:40 pm
Code: [Select]
Date Thu, 22 Oct 2015 11:17:03 +0100
From Brad Andy Johnson <samandy247@gmail.com> Add to contacts
To undisclosed-recipients@ Add to contacts, ""@ Add to contacts
Bcc gut****@facebook.com Add to contacts
Subject Re: David I Await Your Response .

Good Day David,

I am Brad Johnson i work as an auditor for a UK Asset Management company
which is a private subsidiary of HSBC Bank,However i apologize for my
interference into your privacy as this was done out of my desire to locate
a matured and trustworthy individual who can guarantee the confidence
needed in this matter. Mind you this is not a scam .
On a routine audit check last Month, I discovered an investment account
portfolio that has been dormant for the last fifteen (15) years and all the
accounts belonging to a single holder with funds totaling a little above
(£7,110,000.00) Seven Million One Hundred and Ten Thousand Pounds.
Banking regulations in the UK demands that the fiscal authorities be
notified when accounts are dormant for this period as this will enable the
reversion of the funds as an unclaimed asset back to the treasury and have
the account closed .

My investigation reveals the client bears the same surname with you and
i can confirm with certainty that the deceased died intestate and no
next–of–kin has been found or has come forward all these years .

This is why i reached out to you ,Officially the most important guiding
principle of the Inheritance law is its emphasis on the wishes and intent
of the individual that has died.I want you to understand it is only an
outsider to the banking world who finds the internal politics of the
financial world aberrational. My proposal is i am prepared to place you in
a position to give instruction for the release of the deposit to you as the
closest surviving next of kin .Your reward will be 40% of the total funds
less any expenses should you accept to partner with me

I can guarantee that this transaction will be executed under a legitimate
arrangement that will protect us without breaching any law .
Once i read back from you i will furnish you with further details.

To affirm your willingness and cooperation to my proposal please contact me
through email stating the followings:-
(1) Full Name; (2) Telephone,Fax and Mobile Numbers; (3) Postal Address:
(4) Occupation: (5) A copy of your ID ..

Mr Brad Johnson​ .

it was my facebook email address in the bcc :/
Title: Re: Funniest email I've ever seen
Post by: Gutty on November 18, 2015, 05:14:25 pm
Date   Tue, 17 Nov 2015 17:53:06 +0330
From   "Barclays Bank."@unspecified-domain Add to contacts
To   Recipients@clear.net.nz Add to contacts
Reply-To   bbbank92@yahoo.com.sg Add to contacts
Subject   REF:- INSTRUCTION TO CREDIT YOUR BANK ACCOUNT
 
      
    
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BARCLAYS BANK PLC.LONDON
CLAPHAM JUNCTION BRANCH,
1 Church Hill Place,
London, London,
E13 5BH LONDON
+447700056113

Attention: Beneficiary

REF:- INSTRUCTION TO CREDIT YOUR BANK ACCOUNT

This is second time we are notifying you about the statue of your fund right now
in my desk. After due vetting and evaluation of your Inheritance file which The
Ministry of Finance of the Federal Republic of Nigeria Forwarded and contacted
us to see to your immediate payment.

We write to inform you that, this office has arrange all the necessary document
for our Telex Department for immediate programming them into our payment system
.But we can transfer the fund into your account yet until you get the (NON
RESIDENTIAL CLEARANCE CERTIFICATE) submit to this bank for immediately transfer
into your account. We shall update you with next correspondence as soon as we
confirm the documents. Thanks for your co-operation.

From our findings you have been going through hard ways by paying a lot of
charges to see to the release of your fund ($15, 000, 000, 00) which has been
delayed. We advice that you stop further communication with any correspondence
from Nigeria. You don't have to pay any charges to receive your Inheritance
fund anymore as you have met up with the whole requirements, your
representatives in Nigeria will tell you to still go ahead with them but on
your own risk.

The only thing required from you is to obtain Non-Resident Clearance Certificate
which we are not asking you to pay the fee to us here in United Kingdom as the
Government of Nigeria have paid us for handling/processing of your payment with
other customers. We will help you to see hat you obtain the form so that our
bank will affect immediate transfer of your Inheritance sum ($15,000, 000, 00)
in to your designated bank account.

If you follow up our directives your fund will reflect in your account within
five working Bank days from the day you obtain this form. Do not go through
anybody again but through this Bank if you really want your fund.7
Head, Private Banking Section.
Ed, Foreign Payments
yours sincerely,
Mr. Frank Douglas
Title: Re: Funniest email I've ever seen
Post by: Gutty on December 15, 2015, 06:26:46 pm
oh look, another one!

BARCLAYS BANK PLC.LONDON
CLAPHAM JUNCTION BRANCH,
1 Church Hill Place,
London, London,
E13 5BH  LONDON
+447700056113

Attention: Beneficiary

REF:- INSTRUCTION TO CREDIT YOUR BANK ACCOUNT

This is second time we are notifying you about the statue of your fund right now in my desk. After due vetting and evaluation of your Inheritance file which The Ministry of Finance of the Federal Republic of Nigeria Forwarded and contacted us to see to your immediate payment.

We write to inform you that, this office has arrange all the necessary document for our Telex Department for immediate programming them into our payment system .But we can transfer the fund into your account yet until you get the (NON RESIDENTIAL CLEARANCE CERTIFICATE) submit to this bank for immediately transfer into your account. We shall update you with next correspondence as soon as we confirm the documents. Thanks for your co-operation.

From our findings you have been going through hard ways by paying a lot of charges to see to the release of your fund ($15, 000, 000, 00) which has been delayed. We advice that you stop further communication with any correspondence from Nigeria. You don't have to pay any charges to receive your Inheritance fund anymore as you have met up with the whole requirements, your representatives in Nigeria will tell you to still go ahead with them but on your own risk.

The only thing required from you is to obtain Non-Resident Clearance Certificate which we are not asking you to pay the fee to us here in United Kingdom as the Government of Nigeria have paid us for handling/processing of your payment with other customers. We will help you to see hat you obtain the form so that our bank will affect immediate transfer of your Inheritance sum ($15,000, 000, 00) in to your designated bank account.

If you follow up our directives your fund will reflect in your account within five working Bank days from the day you obtain this form. Do not go through anybody again but through this Bank if you really want your fund.

Head, Private Banking Section.
Ed, Foreign Payments
yours sincerely,
Mr. Frank Douglas
Title: Re: Funniest email I've ever seen
Post by: Pitchey on December 15, 2015, 07:30:42 pm
Frank's legit.
Title: Re: Funniest email I've ever seen
Post by: Pigdog on December 16, 2015, 12:07:08 am
I will be sorely disappointed when the actual Nigerian prince I am related too dies and I delete the email that the bank sends me.
Title: Re: Funniest email I've ever seen
Post by: Zarkov on December 16, 2015, 09:10:47 am
Frank's legit.

His english isn't very good.
Title: Re: Funniest email I've ever seen
Post by: Apostrophe Spacemonkey on December 16, 2015, 09:21:50 am
I often get emails listing jobs in my field.

But never one for Vice President before.

Quote
Dear Mr. Spacemonkey:

Boyden executive search has been retained to aid in the search of a new Vice President, Business Development – Real Estate Management Services (REMS) Western Canada, for Colliers International. We are contacting you to bring this opportunity to your attention, might you know a commercial real estate professional with strong business development capabilities in Western Canada. We have an executive briefing package that we would be pleased to send over.

brb, applying.

Title: Re: Funniest email I've ever seen
Post by: Gutty on December 18, 2015, 06:51:52 pm
CONTACT DHL COURIER COMPANY NIGERIA
MOSAFA BEN & COUNSELORS AT LAW
06 BP 1409 AKPAKPA DODOME
WEST AFRICA NIGERIA
EMAIL:(dhlcdelivery@yahoo.com)
PHONE:+23480 3574 2053


Happy new Happy!!!

I have been waiting for you since to contact me for your Conformable Bank Draft
of $14.5m United States Dollars, but I did not hear from you since for a couple
of weeks now. Then I went to the bank to confirm if the draft has expired or
getting near to expire and Dr.Wilson the Director Bank told me that before the
draft will get to your hand that it will expire. So I told him to Convert the
$14.5m USD UNITED STATES DOLLARS to CASH payment to avoid losing this funds
under expiration as I will be out of the country for a 3 Months Course and I
will not come back till ending of February 2016.

What you have to do now is to contact DHL COURIER SERVICE as soon as possible to
know when they will deliver your package to you because of the expiring date.
For your information, I have paid for the delivering Charge, Insurance
premium.


The only money you will send to the DHL COURIER SERVICES to deliver your package
direct to your postal Address in your country is ($125.00 US) One hundred and
twenty Five United States Dollars only being Security Keeping Fee of the
Courier Company so far.Again, don't be deceived by anybody to pay any other
money except $125.00 US Dollars. I would have paid that but they said no
because they don't know when you will contact them and in case of demurrage.

You have to contact DHL COURIER SERVICES now for the delivery of your $14.5M USD
with this information bellow;

Directors Name: Dr. Mosafa Ben
Companys Name:DHL COURIER SERVICES
Email Address: (dhlcdelivery@yahoo.com)
Tel: +23480 3574 2053

Finally, make sure that you reconfirm your Postal address and Direct telephone
number to them again to avoid any mistake on the Delivery and ask them to give
you the tracking number after payment to enable you track your package over
there and know when it will get to your address. Let me repeat again, try to
contact them as soon as you receive this mail to avoid any further delay and
remember to pay them their Security Keeping fee of $125.00 US Dollars for their
immediate action.


Note this. The DHL COURIER SERVICES don't know the contents of the Box. I
registered it as a BOX of Africa cloths. They did not know the contents was
money. this is to avoid them delaying with the BOX. Don’t let them know that
box contents money ok.

I am waiting for your urgent response.


SHIPMENT CODE AWB 33XZS
PACKAGE REGISTERED CODE NO XGT442.
SECURITY CODE SCTC/2001DHX/567/
CERTIFICATE DEPOSIT CODE SCTC/BUN/xxiv/-78/01


God bless you and your family.
SENATOR ROSE ORLANDO
Title: Re: Funniest email I've ever seen
Post by: Pigdog on December 18, 2015, 08:50:45 pm
Have a happy new happy everybody!
Title: Re: Funniest email I've ever seen
Post by: Gutty on December 18, 2015, 11:31:37 pm
the engrish is good yo~
Title: Re: Funniest email I've ever seen
Post by: Pigdog on December 19, 2015, 12:32:37 am

I registered it as a BOX of Africa cloths.
Title: Re: Funniest email I've ever seen
Post by: Apostrophe Spacemonkey on December 19, 2015, 02:33:54 pm
I didn't know DHL was a subsidiary of Yahoo.

Title: Re: Funniest email I've ever seen
Post by: Gutty on December 19, 2015, 07:53:01 pm
Return-path: <anonymous@lh043.interdominios.com>

Date   Sat, 19 Dec 2015 07:51:55 +0300
From   Office Manager <order@onlineservice.com> Add to contacts
To   d***@paradise.net.nz Add to contacts
Subject   Subject: Your order #26349 - Corresponding invoice_3BQ3Az

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Dear Valued Customer,

We are pleased to inform you that your order #26349 has been processed and ready
to be dispatched. However, according to our records, above mentioned invoice is
still unpaid.
For your information, don't hesitate to check the invoice enclosed to this
letter or contact us directly.

In case if you have already sent your payment, please disregards this letter and
kindly allow us up to 3 business days to clear the incoming payment.

We look forward to your remittance and will the dispatch the goods.

Sincerely,
Jayden Adams
Title: Re: Funniest email I've ever seen
Post by: Gutty on December 19, 2015, 07:54:28 pm
had to have a chuckle at this one... an invoice via zip and not pdf. also with the wrong number of the actual email subject..


my reply:
Hi, I think I have the wrong invoice. the numbers do not match, please resend, with the correct invoice.
Title: Re: Funniest email I've ever seen
Post by: Gutty on December 20, 2015, 12:03:09 pm
these emails seem to be flowing in now....



Date   Sat, 19 Dec 2015 09:40:06 -0500
From   KwakX@clear.net.nz Add to contacts
To   Recipients@clear.net.nz Add to contacts
Reply-To   rammadi002@hotmail.com Add to contacts
Subject   YOU NEED TRUTH?
 
      
    
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Financial Investigational On Foreign Payments,
 Unit A41, 50 Bank Street London E14 5NS,
 London, U.K. Office, Tel: +447024053645

 My name is Mr. Randy Hyde from Financial Investigation on Foreign
transfers/payments, this panel was constituted by WORLD BANK, GOVERNMENT OF
GHANA with CENTRAL BANK of NIGERIA Due to high level of FRAUD also assisted by
IMF and other major banks from African Countries. SOUTH AFRICA, COTONU BENIN
REP, Cote d'ivoire E.T.C. To investigate illegal transfers, Payments to wrong
accounts and to stop Fraud and Scam which is on high level from MOST African
Countries which has also INVOLVED the good country Great Britain and also
hitting so many other countries.


 From all my investigations and deep researches, based on the authority/power
given to me concerning foreign payments. I came to understand THE TRUTH, that
in years back someone contacted you for this transaction to fix your name as
the legal beneficiary to enable you PROVIDE AN ACCOUNT that will receive the
money by registering you as the legal beneficiary of the fund which he promised
to conclude the internal arrangement but DID NOT after your name has appeared
on the payment computer/ record and files as the beneficiary of the fund due to
his greed and misunderstanding though the truth was not made known to you till
date.

From my investigations I came to understand that you have suffered so much
trying to receive the money but all efforts were to no success. Rather they
keep demanding fees, ON and ON. From the information here, you were told before
that you will receive the payment through OFFSHORE PAYMENT CENTER by their
agent which failed. Then another story of paying you via Diplomatic through
consignment in (2 BOXES) with assistance of so-called diplomat to be delivered
to your house through diplomatic agent which their member will call you
claiming to be at airport by requesting more money for Air port clearance
E.T.C. There were so many attempts even through FAKE ATM MASTER CARD and also
FAKE bank check which is Fraud.

 WE GOT THIS RIGHT INFORMATION FROM (Alhaji Lawal Idris) THE HEAD OF FINANCE WHO
IS ALSO THE CURRENT PERSON IN CHARGE OF FOREIGN PAYMENTS FROM MOST AFRICAN
BANKS. IF YOU WANT THE INTERNAL ARRANGEMENTS TO BE PERFECTED AND TO ENSURE YOU
RECEIVE YOUR PAYMENT AS DIRECTED BY WORLD BANK, IMF, C.B.N NIGERIA AS THE
APPROVED BENEFICIARIES.THEN CONTACT HIM IMMEDIATELY WITH YOUR DETAILS:

 Alhaji Lawal Idris
 DIRECT LINE: +2348021235362
 EMAIL: alhajilawalidris02@yandex.com

 NOW IF YOU WANT US TO WORK TOGETHER HERE ARE HIS CONDITIONS.

 (I) You MUST promise NOT to allow ANY OTHER PERSON know about this and WE will
have 40% of the money then 60% for you.

 (2) You MUST not betray us at last and our share will be wired into the account
which will be provided to you for return of our share.
 If you do not agree with my condition, I will advise you, NOT TO REPLY because
there is no way you can conclude the transfer without perfecting the
arrangement and normalize all the conflicts in your payment files. IF you agree
then contact him for more directions on how to conclude the transfer of the
fund to your account.

 Yours in service
 Mr. Randy Hyde
Title: Re: Funniest email I've ever seen
Post by: Gutty on December 20, 2015, 12:05:11 pm
Date   Sat, 19 Dec 2015 11:37:48 +0100 (MET)
From   Iam Helena <toepfer.b@t-online.de> Add to contacts
To   "kbardrick@yahoo.com.au" <kbardrick@yahoo.com.au> Add to contacts
Reply-To   "helenakapka@gmail.com" <helenakapka@gmail.com> Add to contacts
Subject   Good day.
 
      
    
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Hey im Helena. I have got a invitation from rsvp dating with list of
profiles. And i wished write you. It's my first time rsvp experience
because I've never used dating site before. I am practitioner nurse in
Brisbane hospital I’ve never been married and i don’t have babies. I would
love to creat a good friendship with good and kind person. Not look for a
casual meetings. I suppose you too. Please reply to me.
Title: Re: Funniest email I've ever seen
Post by: Gutty on December 21, 2015, 05:59:05 pm
Date   Sun, 20 Dec 2015 21:07:13 +0200
From   "Frank & Williams Co Auditors"@unspecified-domain Add to contacts
To   Recipients@clear.net.nz Add to contacts
Reply-To   barrisfrankwilliams@gmail.com Add to contacts
Subject   business proposal
 
      
    
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Hello,
 I have contacted you because I have carried out research into a dormant account
of a deceased client at the financial institute where I presently audit its
accounts; here in the United State and the client have no heirs. The account
has a significant amount of money in it. An account is judged to be dormant if
there has been no activity in it, or contact with the client, for 15 years.
Normally, account holders lose contact due to death without leaving a will and
there's no known heir to inherit. The treasury department receives the
unclaimed money unless, a previously unknown distant relative, comes and puts a
claim on it; which is usually within a limited time frame.
 
The United State Treasury Department receives over $100 Billiondollars every
year from unclaimed estates; forgotten funds; abandoned shares and dormant
accounts and some of it could be ours if we can work together as I can provide
all relevant documents and information. We could present you as the next of kin
to deceased, as laid out in section 46 of the Administration of Estates Act of
1925 (with subsequent amendments) if you agree to work with me.
 
I will need to enter into an agreement with you, which will cover the
disbursement aspect of funds. Furthermore, you will have to sign a consent form
that gives the lawyer power of attorney to represent you at the probate office
(for the Procurement of the Grant of Probate). The amount in question currently
stands at $5,000,000.00 (Five million United State Dollars only).
 
At the closure of this transaction, 50% of the total funds will be yours after
total expenses. So, if you would like to team up with me discreetly to secure
these funds for ourselves, please have your full information sent to me which
include, full name, address, age, occupation and contact number(s).
 
I await your careful considered answer as when we proceed we cannot stop half
way, as this is one in a life time opportunity to go big.
 
Sincerely,
Frank Williams
Frank & Williams Co Auditors
Email: barrisfrankwilliamslawfirms@gmail.com
Title: This ones good!
Post by: Gutty on December 22, 2015, 12:41:50 am
Date   Fri, 18 Dec 2015 07:42:59 -0600
From   ""@unspecified-domain Add to contacts
To   Recipients@clear.net.nz Add to contacts
Reply-To   pete.zakhumalo@gmail.com Add to contacts
Subject   US$25,000,000.00 Business Partnership
 
      
    
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Complement of the season,

My names are Mr. Pete Khumalo from Johannesburg South Africa. I am a former
manager in one of the leading security and financial institution here in South
Africa

During the 2010 Fifa World Cup in South Africa, late Mr.Mutassim Gaddafi, son of
former late dictator and president of Libya in northern Africa paid a visit to
our office and came in three days’ time with two suit cases containing Twenty
Five Million United States Dollars (US$25,000,000.00) for deposit and safe keep
in our institution. We process the necessary documentations after counting the
fund and lodged it into the family vault for safe keep.

Ever since the deposit, he never ask for the money till he met his untimely date
in 2011 during the uprising that ousted and kill his father who ruled the
country in bondage for 42 years. Nobody knows about this fund except me and the
present Chief Security Executive. We want to move this fund out of South Africa
to abroad and quietly share it and secure our future and that of our respective
families. If you are interested let’s discuss further, send your number to
call you because I will like you to take a three days business visit to South
Africa. Let me stop here till I hear from you. Go through the 4 websites below
for more information;

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2051857/Gaddafi-dead-Dictators-son-Mutassim-pictured-moments-execution.html (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2051857/Gaddafi-dead-Dictators-son-Mutassim-pictured-moments-execution.html)

http://www.timeslive.co.za/local/2013/06/02/gaddafi-billions-found-in-sa1 (http://www.timeslive.co.za/local/2013/06/02/gaddafi-billions-found-in-sa1)

http://sbeta.iol.co.za/news/politics/found-in-sa-libya-s-trillions-1791851 (http://sbeta.iol.co.za/news/politics/found-in-sa-libya-s-trillions-1791851)

http://www.fin24.com/Economy/Squabble-over-Gadaffi-loot-in-SA-20130616 (http://www.fin24.com/Economy/Squabble-over-Gadaffi-loot-in-SA-20130616)

We are also in consultation with a renowned government accredited Diplomatic
Freight Services to freight the consignment containing the fund to you in your
country. This is why we have to discuss and build trust for each other.

 The Diplomatic Freight Services are mostly use by Governments, United Nations,
Banks Top Private Companies, NGO and NPO to freight Funds, Vital Documents,
Gold, Diamond and Platinum etc. from one nation to another.


Thank you.

Mr. Pete Khumalo.
pete.zakhumalo@gmail.com
+27 74 201 8385
Title: Re: Funniest email I've ever seen
Post by: Gutty on January 29, 2016, 07:14:00 pm
Date   Thu, 28 Jan 2016 21:59:34 -0800
From   "Rev. John Obi" <dfgtyh.njjkklo@aol.com> Add to contacts
To   *myemailaddyhere*@paradise.net.nz Add to contacts
Reply-To   drrevjohnobi55@yandex.com Add to contacts
Subject   Your Swift Credit Card Payment
 
      
    
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Hello,

This is to officially inform you that (ATM Card number:4225-8422-0661-2760) has
been accredited in your favor. Your Personal Identification Number is 8228. The
ATM Card Value is US$10,000,000.00.You are advised to contact me with the
following information: Name, Address,Phone, Age, Sex, and OccupationThank you,
God Blessed, Rev John Obi
Title: Re: Funniest email I've ever seen
Post by: Pigdog on February 07, 2016, 07:02:56 pm
From   Subject   Received   Size   Categories   
ouvarova9@gmail.com   There is a desire to be with me next?   Thu 4/02   264 KB      

I may not be a supermodel, but at least I smell nice in my 35 years old well, that's what my grandma told me(smile). Cooking is one of my greatest passions in life and I dream of one day starting my own restaurant. Ultimately, I'd like to be known for serving the most delicious peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. My mom's secret recipe is off the hook. I am someone who always remember to say ''I love you'' And ''I need you'' often when am involved in a serious committed relationship, enjoy walking hand in hand with my partner in the rain, love to write my partner poems, call a radio station and dedicate a favorite song, write ''I love You'' in lipstick or shaving cream on the mirror, I like grilling and cooking dinner for my partner, hide love notes in a lunch box, briefcase or purse, enjoy planning a surprise getaway, do household chores, read each others horoscopes, go camping together and only take one sleeping bag, shower together, dim the lights, and snuggle together on the co uch, be the first to say'' I'm sorry'' and kiss and make up, and act like a teenagers. Maybe even pierce something. I live in Azerbaijan Hope you like my picture.
Title: Online dating bot
Post by: Tiwaking! on February 07, 2016, 08:41:58 pm
From   Subject   Received   Size   Categories   
ouvarova9@gmail.com   There is a desire to be with me next?   Thu 4/02   264 KB
http://www.pickuplinesgalore.com/online-dating/profiles.html (http://www.pickuplinesgalore.com/online-dating/profiles.html)
Quote
Here are some samples of online dating profiles. If you wish to understand the concepts behind these examples, please read our tips for writing your online profile.

Example 1: Light-Hearted and Silly

I may not be a supermodel, but at least I smell nice… well, that's what my grandma tells me.

When I'm not busy 'saving the world' or 'being awesome', I spend my time working as a bartender and part-time chef. Cooking is one of my greatest passions in life and I dream of one day starting my own restaurant. Ultimately, I'd like to be known for serving the most delicious peanut butter and jelly sandwiches on this side of the Mississippi... my mom's secret recipe is off the hook!

On my days off, you'll either find me playing hockey or belting out show-tunes with my 6-month-old nephew Jason. He says we should take our act on the road, but I think he needs to brush up on his harmonies first.

I'm looking for a partner-in-crime who enjoys the outdoors and isn't afraid to step on the dancefloor from time-to-time. Don't worry if you have 'two left feet' - I spent six years training at the Gangnam-Style School of Dance, and can teach you how to do the hokey pokey for a nominal fee.

Anyway, if you're easy-going and at least 87% awesome, feel free to drop me a line sometime!
Title: Re: Funniest email I've ever seen
Post by: Pyromanik on February 10, 2016, 08:45:17 am
Been looking into AI lately have we Tiwa?
Title: Re: Funniest email I've ever seen
Post by: Pigdog on February 10, 2016, 09:38:02 am
Tiwa is ai, that why he keeps the favorite quotes section updated like clockwork.
Title: Re: Funniest email I've ever seen
Post by: Gutty on August 12, 2016, 09:27:28 am
Date   Thu, 11 Aug 2016 00:48:22 +0000
From   "service." <sinblux@trieoi.onmicrosoft.com> Add to contacts
To   "admin_1526482@update.com" <admin_1526482@update.com> Add to contacts
Subject   Verify your paypal account
 
[http://www.helicopterdays.co.uk/img/paypal.png]<http://www.helicopterdays.co.uk/img/paypal.png>

Account Status Update.
Log in to your Paypal as soon as possible


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What do I need to do?


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