Topic: Funniest email I've ever seen

Offline Gutty

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Return-path: <anonymous@lh043.interdominios.com>

Date   Sat, 19 Dec 2015 07:51:55 +0300
From   Office Manager <order@onlineservice.com> Add to contacts
To   d***@paradise.net.nz Add to contacts
Subject   Subject: Your order #26349 - Corresponding invoice_3BQ3Az

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message/source      Message Source   
       
    
Dear Valued Customer,

We are pleased to inform you that your order #26349 has been processed and ready
to be dispatched. However, according to our records, above mentioned invoice is
still unpaid.
For your information, don't hesitate to check the invoice enclosed to this
letter or contact us directly.

In case if you have already sent your payment, please disregards this letter and
kindly allow us up to 3 business days to clear the incoming payment.

We look forward to your remittance and will the dispatch the goods.

Sincerely,
Jayden Adams

Reply #25 Posted: December 19, 2015, 07:53:01 pm

Offline Gutty

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had to have a chuckle at this one... an invoice via zip and not pdf. also with the wrong number of the actual email subject..


my reply:
Hi, I think I have the wrong invoice. the numbers do not match, please resend, with the correct invoice.
Last Edit: December 19, 2015, 07:56:15 pm by Gutty

Reply #26 Posted: December 19, 2015, 07:54:28 pm

Offline Gutty

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these emails seem to be flowing in now....



Date   Sat, 19 Dec 2015 09:40:06 -0500
From   KwakX@clear.net.nz Add to contacts
To   Recipients@clear.net.nz Add to contacts
Reply-To   rammadi002@hotmail.com Add to contacts
Subject   YOU NEED TRUTH?
 
      
    
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Financial Investigational On Foreign Payments,
 Unit A41, 50 Bank Street London E14 5NS,
 London, U.K. Office, Tel: +447024053645

 My name is Mr. Randy Hyde from Financial Investigation on Foreign
transfers/payments, this panel was constituted by WORLD BANK, GOVERNMENT OF
GHANA with CENTRAL BANK of NIGERIA Due to high level of FRAUD also assisted by
IMF and other major banks from African Countries. SOUTH AFRICA, COTONU BENIN
REP, Cote d'ivoire E.T.C. To investigate illegal transfers, Payments to wrong
accounts and to stop Fraud and Scam which is on high level from MOST African
Countries which has also INVOLVED the good country Great Britain and also
hitting so many other countries.


 From all my investigations and deep researches, based on the authority/power
given to me concerning foreign payments. I came to understand THE TRUTH, that
in years back someone contacted you for this transaction to fix your name as
the legal beneficiary to enable you PROVIDE AN ACCOUNT that will receive the
money by registering you as the legal beneficiary of the fund which he promised
to conclude the internal arrangement but DID NOT after your name has appeared
on the payment computer/ record and files as the beneficiary of the fund due to
his greed and misunderstanding though the truth was not made known to you till
date.

From my investigations I came to understand that you have suffered so much
trying to receive the money but all efforts were to no success. Rather they
keep demanding fees, ON and ON. From the information here, you were told before
that you will receive the payment through OFFSHORE PAYMENT CENTER by their
agent which failed. Then another story of paying you via Diplomatic through
consignment in (2 BOXES) with assistance of so-called diplomat to be delivered
to your house through diplomatic agent which their member will call you
claiming to be at airport by requesting more money for Air port clearance
E.T.C. There were so many attempts even through FAKE ATM MASTER CARD and also
FAKE bank check which is Fraud.

 WE GOT THIS RIGHT INFORMATION FROM (Alhaji Lawal Idris) THE HEAD OF FINANCE WHO
IS ALSO THE CURRENT PERSON IN CHARGE OF FOREIGN PAYMENTS FROM MOST AFRICAN
BANKS. IF YOU WANT THE INTERNAL ARRANGEMENTS TO BE PERFECTED AND TO ENSURE YOU
RECEIVE YOUR PAYMENT AS DIRECTED BY WORLD BANK, IMF, C.B.N NIGERIA AS THE
APPROVED BENEFICIARIES.THEN CONTACT HIM IMMEDIATELY WITH YOUR DETAILS:

 Alhaji Lawal Idris
 DIRECT LINE: +2348021235362
 EMAIL: alhajilawalidris02@yandex.com

 NOW IF YOU WANT US TO WORK TOGETHER HERE ARE HIS CONDITIONS.

 (I) You MUST promise NOT to allow ANY OTHER PERSON know about this and WE will
have 40% of the money then 60% for you.

 (2) You MUST not betray us at last and our share will be wired into the account
which will be provided to you for return of our share.
 If you do not agree with my condition, I will advise you, NOT TO REPLY because
there is no way you can conclude the transfer without perfecting the
arrangement and normalize all the conflicts in your payment files. IF you agree
then contact him for more directions on how to conclude the transfer of the
fund to your account.

 Yours in service
 Mr. Randy Hyde

Reply #27 Posted: December 20, 2015, 12:03:09 pm

Offline Gutty

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Date   Sat, 19 Dec 2015 11:37:48 +0100 (MET)
From   Iam Helena <toepfer.b@t-online.de> Add to contacts
To   "kbardrick@yahoo.com.au" <kbardrick@yahoo.com.au> Add to contacts
Reply-To   "helenakapka@gmail.com" <helenakapka@gmail.com> Add to contacts
Subject   Good day.
 
      
    
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Hey im Helena. I have got a invitation from rsvp dating with list of
profiles. And i wished write you. It's my first time rsvp experience
because I've never used dating site before. I am practitioner nurse in
Brisbane hospital I’ve never been married and i don’t have babies. I would
love to creat a good friendship with good and kind person. Not look for a
casual meetings. I suppose you too. Please reply to me.

Reply #28 Posted: December 20, 2015, 12:05:11 pm

Offline Gutty

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Date   Sun, 20 Dec 2015 21:07:13 +0200
From   "Frank & Williams Co Auditors"@unspecified-domain Add to contacts
To   Recipients@clear.net.nz Add to contacts
Reply-To   barrisfrankwilliams@gmail.com Add to contacts
Subject   business proposal
 
      
    
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Hello,
 I have contacted you because I have carried out research into a dormant account
of a deceased client at the financial institute where I presently audit its
accounts; here in the United State and the client have no heirs. The account
has a significant amount of money in it. An account is judged to be dormant if
there has been no activity in it, or contact with the client, for 15 years.
Normally, account holders lose contact due to death without leaving a will and
there's no known heir to inherit. The treasury department receives the
unclaimed money unless, a previously unknown distant relative, comes and puts a
claim on it; which is usually within a limited time frame.
 
The United State Treasury Department receives over $100 Billiondollars every
year from unclaimed estates; forgotten funds; abandoned shares and dormant
accounts and some of it could be ours if we can work together as I can provide
all relevant documents and information. We could present you as the next of kin
to deceased, as laid out in section 46 of the Administration of Estates Act of
1925 (with subsequent amendments) if you agree to work with me.
 
I will need to enter into an agreement with you, which will cover the
disbursement aspect of funds. Furthermore, you will have to sign a consent form
that gives the lawyer power of attorney to represent you at the probate office
(for the Procurement of the Grant of Probate). The amount in question currently
stands at $5,000,000.00 (Five million United State Dollars only).
 
At the closure of this transaction, 50% of the total funds will be yours after
total expenses. So, if you would like to team up with me discreetly to secure
these funds for ourselves, please have your full information sent to me which
include, full name, address, age, occupation and contact number(s).
 
I await your careful considered answer as when we proceed we cannot stop half
way, as this is one in a life time opportunity to go big.
 
Sincerely,
Frank Williams
Frank & Williams Co Auditors
Email: barrisfrankwilliamslawfirms@gmail.com

Reply #29 Posted: December 21, 2015, 05:59:05 pm

Offline Gutty

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Date   Fri, 18 Dec 2015 07:42:59 -0600
From   ""@unspecified-domain Add to contacts
To   Recipients@clear.net.nz Add to contacts
Reply-To   pete.zakhumalo@gmail.com Add to contacts
Subject   US$25,000,000.00 Business Partnership
 
      
    
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Complement of the season,

My names are Mr. Pete Khumalo from Johannesburg South Africa. I am a former
manager in one of the leading security and financial institution here in South
Africa

During the 2010 Fifa World Cup in South Africa, late Mr.Mutassim Gaddafi, son of
former late dictator and president of Libya in northern Africa paid a visit to
our office and came in three days’ time with two suit cases containing Twenty
Five Million United States Dollars (US$25,000,000.00) for deposit and safe keep
in our institution. We process the necessary documentations after counting the
fund and lodged it into the family vault for safe keep.

Ever since the deposit, he never ask for the money till he met his untimely date
in 2011 during the uprising that ousted and kill his father who ruled the
country in bondage for 42 years. Nobody knows about this fund except me and the
present Chief Security Executive. We want to move this fund out of South Africa
to abroad and quietly share it and secure our future and that of our respective
families. If you are interested let’s discuss further, send your number to
call you because I will like you to take a three days business visit to South
Africa. Let me stop here till I hear from you. Go through the 4 websites below
for more information;

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2051857/Gaddafi-dead-Dictators-son-Mutassim-pictured-moments-execution.html

http://www.timeslive.co.za/local/2013/06/02/gaddafi-billions-found-in-sa1

http://sbeta.iol.co.za/news/politics/found-in-sa-libya-s-trillions-1791851

http://www.fin24.com/Economy/Squabble-over-Gadaffi-loot-in-SA-20130616

We are also in consultation with a renowned government accredited Diplomatic
Freight Services to freight the consignment containing the fund to you in your
country. This is why we have to discuss and build trust for each other.

 The Diplomatic Freight Services are mostly use by Governments, United Nations,
Banks Top Private Companies, NGO and NPO to freight Funds, Vital Documents,
Gold, Diamond and Platinum etc. from one nation to another.


Thank you.

Mr. Pete Khumalo.
pete.zakhumalo@gmail.com
+27 74 201 8385

Reply #30 Posted: December 22, 2015, 12:41:50 am

Offline Gutty

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Date   Thu, 28 Jan 2016 21:59:34 -0800
From   "Rev. John Obi" <dfgtyh.njjkklo@aol.com> Add to contacts
To   *myemailaddyhere*@paradise.net.nz Add to contacts
Reply-To   drrevjohnobi55@yandex.com Add to contacts
Subject   Your Swift Credit Card Payment
 
      
    
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Hello,

This is to officially inform you that (ATM Card number:4225-8422-0661-2760) has
been accredited in your favor. Your Personal Identification Number is 8228. The
ATM Card Value is US$10,000,000.00.You are advised to contact me with the
following information: Name, Address,Phone, Age, Sex, and OccupationThank you,
God Blessed, Rev John Obi

Reply #31 Posted: January 29, 2016, 07:14:00 pm

Offline Pigdog

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From   Subject   Received   Size   Categories   
ouvarova9@gmail.com   There is a desire to be with me next?   Thu 4/02   264 KB      

I may not be a supermodel, but at least I smell nice in my 35 years old well, that's what my grandma told me(smile). Cooking is one of my greatest passions in life and I dream of one day starting my own restaurant. Ultimately, I'd like to be known for serving the most delicious peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. My mom's secret recipe is off the hook. I am someone who always remember to say ''I love you'' And ''I need you'' often when am involved in a serious committed relationship, enjoy walking hand in hand with my partner in the rain, love to write my partner poems, call a radio station and dedicate a favorite song, write ''I love You'' in lipstick or shaving cream on the mirror, I like grilling and cooking dinner for my partner, hide love notes in a lunch box, briefcase or purse, enjoy planning a surprise getaway, do household chores, read each others horoscopes, go camping together and only take one sleeping bag, shower together, dim the lights, and snuggle together on the co uch, be the first to say'' I'm sorry'' and kiss and make up, and act like a teenagers. Maybe even pierce something. I live in Azerbaijan Hope you like my picture.

Reply #32 Posted: February 07, 2016, 07:02:56 pm

Offline Tiwaking!

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From   Subject   Received   Size   Categories   
ouvarova9@gmail.com   There is a desire to be with me next?   Thu 4/02   264 KB
http://www.pickuplinesgalore.com/online-dating/profiles.html
Quote
Here are some samples of online dating profiles. If you wish to understand the concepts behind these examples, please read our tips for writing your online profile.

Example 1: Light-Hearted and Silly

I may not be a supermodel, but at least I smell nice… well, that's what my grandma tells me.

When I'm not busy 'saving the world' or 'being awesome', I spend my time working as a bartender and part-time chef. Cooking is one of my greatest passions in life and I dream of one day starting my own restaurant. Ultimately, I'd like to be known for serving the most delicious peanut butter and jelly sandwiches on this side of the Mississippi... my mom's secret recipe is off the hook!

On my days off, you'll either find me playing hockey or belting out show-tunes with my 6-month-old nephew Jason. He says we should take our act on the road, but I think he needs to brush up on his harmonies first.

I'm looking for a partner-in-crime who enjoys the outdoors and isn't afraid to step on the dancefloor from time-to-time. Don't worry if you have 'two left feet' - I spent six years training at the Gangnam-Style School of Dance, and can teach you how to do the hokey pokey for a nominal fee.

Anyway, if you're easy-going and at least 87% awesome, feel free to drop me a line sometime!

Reply #33 Posted: February 07, 2016, 08:41:58 pm
I am now banned from GetSome

Offline Pyromanik

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  • Posts: 28,834
Been looking into AI lately have we Tiwa?

Reply #34 Posted: February 10, 2016, 08:45:17 am
Everyone needs more Bruce Campbell.

Offline Pigdog

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Tiwa is ai, that why he keeps the favorite quotes section updated like clockwork.

Reply #35 Posted: February 10, 2016, 09:38:02 am

Offline Gutty

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Date   Thu, 11 Aug 2016 00:48:22 +0000
From   "service." <sinblux@trieoi.onmicrosoft.com> Add to contacts
To   "admin_1526482@update.com" <admin_1526482@update.com> Add to contacts
Subject   Verify your paypal account
 
[http://www.helicopterdays.co.uk/img/paypal.png]<http://www.helicopterdays.co.uk/img/paypal.png>

Account Status Update.
Log in to your Paypal as soon as possible


Recently, there's been activity in your Paypal account that seems unusual
compared to your normal account activities. Please log in to Paypal to confirm
your identity and update card information.

We're concerned that someone is using your Paypal account without your
knowledge. Recent activity from your account seems to have occurred from a
suspicious location or under circumstances that may be different than usual.

What do I need to do?


 * Click here<http://www.amecar.cz/lib/>
 * Login to your Paypal account as soon as possible. We may ask you to confirm
information you provided when you created your account to make sure you're the
account holder. We'll then ask you to change your password and security
questions.<http://www.amecar.cz/lib/>
 * Yours sincerely,
 *
 * Paypal

Reply #36 Posted: August 12, 2016, 09:27:28 am