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Messages - Baldesto
1
« on: January 11, 2016, 08:42:59 pm »
then tell him to stick his his dick up his ass, use it as a handle and fuck off . i fucking hate shithouse landlords , i had to be held back by my flatmates over one wanker .he fucked off pretty quick i can tell you ...
2
« on: January 11, 2016, 08:39:31 pm »
nope read the housing corp tenants rights and tell the landlord to go fuck himself , 60 days you have i think.. also he is in shit st for pocketing the bond. http://www.cab.org.nz/vat/hle/rt/pages/rightsobligationsoftenantslandlords.aspx#7https://www.tenancy.govt.nz/ending-a-tenancy/Notice periods A tenant must give at least 21 days’ written notice to end the tenancy, unless the landlord agrees to a shorter time (it’s best for this agreement to be in writing). A landlord must give at least 90 days' written notice to end the tenancy, but can give less time (at least 42 days’ notice) in certain circumstances.
3
« on: October 16, 2015, 09:01:15 pm »
chrome is shit too .firefox is having an epi here too , tho i suspect there is more to it running w10
4
« on: October 10, 2015, 12:07:41 pm »
lol what the fucks a ghost driver?
a car where there is no visible driver... then you pull alongside and there is a 4 foot 3 chinese lady who is white knuckle driving and appears to be at least 300 years old.
5
« on: October 09, 2015, 02:03:50 pm »
the list today :
win10
ghost drivers in howick
women drivers
thieves /fuckers stole my valve caps off the surf
epening the beer fridge and finding there is only 2 beers left.
6
« on: October 04, 2015, 08:52:26 am »
30 hours
7
« on: October 03, 2015, 09:06:44 pm »
rimu and boiled linseed oil . i then french polished it with 000 gauge steel wool .15 coats .
8
« on: October 03, 2015, 07:25:26 am »
    rimu gun case i made for Raven
9
« on: October 02, 2015, 11:01:58 am »
yeah but i like fcuking around with furniture . ive built all sorts of unusual seats and stuff. i got $700 each for the chairs .only made two. they were very labour intensive .
10
« on: September 28, 2015, 06:01:08 pm »
   some chairs i made adirondeck .took two days , jarrah and stainless .secret screwed the arms down .4 coats of oil .
11
« on: April 12, 2015, 11:11:46 am »
Thanks for that. I'd seen that one. Good to know it's good value.
Now I just gotta get round to measuring the case to make sure I have room
No problem,yeah its a beast sized card hopefully should fit.
I made Baldy buy one awhile ago,hes loving it and hes a handsome bastard.
12
« on: February 06, 2015, 02:22:20 pm »
A woman goes to her boyfriends' parents' house for dinner. This is to be her first time meeting the family and she is very nervous. They all sit down and begin eating a fine meal.
The woman is beginning to feel a little discomfort, thanks to her nervousness and the broccoli casserole. The gas pains are almost making her eyes water. Left with no other choice, she decides to relieve herself a bit and lets out a dainty fart. It wasn't loud, but everyone at the table heard the pouf.
Before she even had a chance to be embarrassed, her boyfriend's father looked over at the dog that had been snoozing at the woman's feet and said in a rather stern voice "Skippy!" The woman thought "This is great!" and a big smile came across her face.
A couple of minutes later, she was beginning to feel the pain again. This time, she didn't even hesitate. She let a much louder and longer fart rip. The father again looked and the dog and yelled "Dammit Skippy!" Once again the woman smiled and thought "Yes!"
A few minutes later the woman had to let another one rip. This time she didn't even think about it.
She let rip a fart that rivalled a fog horn blowing.
Once again, the father looked at the dog with disgust and yelled "Dammit Skippy, get away from her before she shits on you!"
13
« on: February 06, 2015, 02:18:02 pm »
An old man woke up in the middle of the night and found, to his utter astonishment, that his pecker was as hard as a rock for the first time in two years. He shook his wife by the shoulder until she woke up and showed her his enormous boner. "You see that thing, woman?" he happily exclaimed. "What do you think we ought to do with it?" With one eye open, his wife replied "Well, now that you've got all the wrinkles out, this might be a good time to wash it".
14
« on: January 11, 2015, 06:59:24 pm »
People going through your shit you had packed away and throwing out whatever they consider to be junk.
i fucking hate this shit
15
« on: November 04, 2014, 02:43:02 pm »
If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?
16
« on: November 03, 2014, 06:04:20 pm »
Why is it called a 'drive through' if you have to stop?
17
« on: October 18, 2014, 09:45:43 am »
A young man moved into a new apartment on his own, and went to the lobby to put his name on his mailbox.
While there, an attractive young lady came out of the apartment next to the mailboxes wearing a robe.
The boy smiled at the young woman and she started a conversation with him.
As they talked, her robe slipped open, and it was obvious that she had nothing else on. The poor kid broke into a sweat trying to maintain eye contact. After a few minutes, she placed her hand on his arm and said, "Let's go to my apartment, I hear someone coming."
He followed her into her apartment; she closed the door and leaned against it, allowing her robe to fall off completely. Now nude, she purred at him, "What would you say is my best feature?" Flustered and embarrassed, he finally squeaked, "It's got to be your ears!"
Astounded, and a little hurt she asked, "My ears? Look at these breasts; they are full and 100% natural! I work out every day! My butt is firm and solid! Look at my skin - no blemishes anywhere! How can you think that the best part of my body is my ears?"
Clearing his throat, he stammered, "Outside, when you said you heard someone coming? That was me.
18
« on: October 17, 2014, 07:46:49 pm »
A young man walking along the Pier notices an old man with his shoes off, trouser legs rolled up, legs dangling in the sea and fishing with an imaginary rod. Puzzled the young man asks "What are you doing?" The old man replies "Fishing for cunts". "Sounds good. Can I join you?" replied the young man. "Of course you can, pull up a pew, son". The young man sits down and casts an imaginary rod out, and then says "So, how many cunts have you caught today?" The old man replies "You're the third this morning".
--
An uncertain and nervous witness was being cross-examined. The lawyer thundered "Have you ever been married?" "Yes, sir" said the witness in a low voice. "Once". "Whom did you marry?" "Well, a woman". The lawyer said angrily "Of course you married a woman. Did you ever hear of anyone marrying a man?" The witness said meekly "My sister did".
--
You know you're an ugly cunt when it comes to a group picture and they hand you the camera.
--
An explorer in the Amazon suddenly found himself surrounded by a bloodthirsty group of natives. Upon surveying the situation, he said quietly to himself "Oh God, I'm screwed". A ray of light fell from the sky, and a voice boomed out "No, you are not screwed. Pick up that stone at your feet and bash the head of the chief standing in front of you". So the explorer picked up the stone and proceeded to bash the life out of the chief. He stood above the lifeless body, breathing heavily, surrounded by 100 natives with looks of shock on their faces. The voice boomed out again "Okay, now you're screwed".
19
« on: October 14, 2014, 09:44:29 pm »
Mickey O'Flynn worked in an Irish pickle factory. For many years he had a powerful desire to put his penis in the pickle slicer.
Unable to stand it any longer, he sought professional help from the factory psychologist. After six months, the therapist gave up. He advised Mickey to go ahead and do it or he would probably never have any peace of mind.
The next day he came home from work very early. His wife, Mary, became alarmed and wanted to know what had happened.
Mickey tearfully confessed his tormenting desire to put his penis in the pickle Slicer. He went on to explain that today he finally went ahead and did it, and he was immediately fired.
Mary gasped and ran over to her husband. She quickly yanked down his pants and shorts only to find a normal, completely intact penis.
She looked up and said "I don't understand. What about the pickle slicer?" Mickey replied "I think she got fired, too".
20
« on: October 14, 2014, 09:44:05 pm »
The wife was counting all the 5c and 10c out on the kitchen table when she suddenly got very angry and started shouting and crying for no reason. I thought to myself "She's going through the change".
--
Mary, a shy virgin was discussing her worries about her up-coming marriage to Paddy, with the parish priest. "He dropped his trousers last night Father, he has a thing between his legs that I never saw the likes of before". "Sure that's only his penis Mary". "But father there's a purple knob on it". "That's just the head of the penis Mary". "Yeah, but then Father, about 16 inches back from the purple knob there's two big round things. What are they Father?" "Well for your sake Mary, I hope they're the cheeks of his arse".
--
Question: What's the Northern Territory's indigenous population's most feared insect? Answer: The FlagonDry.
--
A man was sitting reading his papers when his wife hit him round the head with a frying pan. "What was that for?" the man asked. The wife replied "That was for the piece of paper with the name Jenny on it that I found in your pants pocket". The man then said "When I was at the races last week, Jenny was the name of the horse I bet on". The wife apologised and went on with the housework. Three days later the man is watching TV when his wife bashes him on the head with an even bigger frying pan, knocking him unconscious. Upon regaining consciousness the man asked why she had hit again. Wife replied "Your horse phoned"...
21
« on: August 12, 2014, 08:47:15 pm »
very sad indeed , such talent ..
i have the torrent you are all looking for, 126 gig tho..
22
« on: August 04, 2014, 09:26:50 pm »
im keen, downloading new prons as we discuss...
23
« on: May 27, 2014, 08:41:58 pm »
good christ the cats back.................
24
« on: May 27, 2014, 02:33:02 pm »
defiantly advise ?
25
« on: May 26, 2014, 08:03:07 am »
tell me you had insurance... that's a late model vw golf ,an i don't wanna rain on your parade , but a new bumper is gonna cost....
any hoo , i hope you are getting better , having broken a shit ton of bones myself , i understand how painful it is . if you need anything , im on your steam list..
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