Topic: Tumour on my neck

Offline BerG

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Last week, after a hard day of deep underground mining and fighting crime, I decided to go in for a deep tissue massage. My regular lady was booked out, so booked in with some dude.

He went way too soft on my back, but then decided to go all out on my neck.

After the massage, he told me to rest for a couple of days and drink lots of water. I told him water was for pussies, and not working at least 16 hours a day was for faggots. I immediately went and chopped down a few tree's while drinking beer.

5 days later, and my neck is still sore. Its sore on the right hand side, and seems to extend all the way up over the right side of my skull. But worst of all, there is a big lump right in the middle of the soreness. This evil swine, has used his magic to inject me with a tumour.

I went back and broke down the door of the massage room, demanding answers. After extended torture he would not give me any anti-venom, so I turn to you for help.

Is there any way to get rid of this tumour, or should I simply cut it out with my combat knife?

http://imageshack.us/a/img835/779/tvh7.jpg
Tumour on my neck

Posted: September 10, 2013, 08:26:04 am

Offline winter

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obligatory "IT'S NOT A TUMOUR!" arnold quote in a berg thread.

Reply #1 Posted: September 10, 2013, 08:34:57 am

Offline Apostrophe Spacemonkey

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Berg, you should know better.




It's not a Tumor!!!

Reply #2 Posted: September 10, 2013, 08:37:25 am

Offline Zarkov

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This.

Reply #3 Posted: September 10, 2013, 09:04:48 am

Offline Apostrophe Spacemonkey

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Yes Berg, Have you been to LV-426 recently?

Reply #4 Posted: September 10, 2013, 09:21:50 am

Offline Scunner

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It's probably Lupus.

Reply #5 Posted: September 10, 2013, 11:20:47 am

Offline BigBoss

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It's never lupus

Reply #6 Posted: September 10, 2013, 11:33:28 am

BigBoss   -   SacrificialLamb   -   Snake™

Offline BerG

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I've seen enough episodes of popular daytime soaps like Home & Away to know that this is either a deadly tumour that I'll need to go to 'the city' to get fixed, or a malicious new form of cancer that I'll need to raise funds to go to America to fix.

Either way, I'll never be seen again.

Reply #7 Posted: September 10, 2013, 11:54:34 am

Offline Apostrophe Spacemonkey

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Get a head transplant.

Reply #8 Posted: September 10, 2013, 12:42:18 pm

Offline SteddieEddie

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Try the combat knife first and let us know how that goes, oh and take some pics of op

Reply #9 Posted: September 10, 2013, 01:11:38 pm

Offline Apostrophe Spacemonkey

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Try using a chainsaw, it would be faster.

Reply #10 Posted: September 10, 2013, 01:12:44 pm

Offline winter

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Quote from: BerG;1531309
I've seen enough episodes of popular daytime soaps like Home & Away to know that this is either a deadly tumour that I'll need to go to 'the city' to get fixed, or a malicious new form of cancer that I'll need to raise funds to go to America to fix.

Either way, I'll never be seen again.

Rubbish, nothing the doc in Yabby Creak couldn't sort m8.

Reply #11 Posted: September 10, 2013, 01:46:31 pm

Offline Bounty Hunter

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You can get a cream for that Berg....don't ask and I won't have to explain to everybody how I know this, and why you need to know this.

Reply #12 Posted: September 10, 2013, 03:51:27 pm
"We are the majority we arent the tards, the people we pick on are." -Luse_K

Offline Zarkov

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Urine is good for those things.

Reply #13 Posted: September 10, 2013, 05:14:48 pm

Offline Tiwaking!

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Quote from: BerG;1531309
I've seen enough episodes of popular daytime soaps like Home & Away to know that this is either a deadly tumour that I'll need to go to 'the city' to get fixed, or a malicious new form of cancer that I'll need to raise funds to go to America to fix.

Either way, I'll never be seen again.

You are being written out of "GetSome and Away"?

That is a real shame! You were such a good character
First "Breaking Bad" and now this

Reply #14 Posted: September 10, 2013, 05:46:21 pm
I am now banned from GetSome

Offline SteddieEddie

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Quote from: Tiwaking!;1531328
You are being written out of "GetSome and Away"?

That is a real shame! You were such a good character
First "Breaking Bad" and now this

Hey you!! Welcome back!!

I have missed you around these parts.

Stick around and revive some threads for us

:love_heart:

Reply #15 Posted: September 10, 2013, 05:50:42 pm

Offline Bounty Hunter

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Quote from: Tiwaking!;1531328
You are being written out of "GetSome and Away"?

That is a real shame! You were such a good character
First "Breaking Bad" and now this

STOP THIS THREAD

TIWA IS BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK!

Reply #16 Posted: September 10, 2013, 06:15:55 pm
"We are the majority we arent the tards, the people we pick on are." -Luse_K

Offline Emrico1

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Way to steal bergs tumor scare thunder Tiwa!

...

Welcome back though dude :)

Reply #17 Posted: September 10, 2013, 06:26:19 pm

Offline BerG

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At least I'll die knowing Tiwa is back.

Dear God I've missed you.

Now start a new thread, or revive an old one, to tell us about your adventures.


Reply #18 Posted: September 10, 2013, 06:32:28 pm

Offline Lias

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I once went to the GP for a checkup, and got asked "How long have you had the " Me: What lump?.. Nek minute, specialists, surgery, bits ripped out of neck.. Go see a doctor berg :-P

Reply #19 Posted: September 10, 2013, 07:40:24 pm

Offline Apostrophe Spacemonkey

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Quote from: SoK;1531352
Nek minute, specialists, surgery, bits ripped out of neck..

The NZ health system doesn't work that fast.

Reply #20 Posted: September 11, 2013, 08:31:44 am

Offline Apostrophe Spacemonkey

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Quote from: SoK;1531352
Nek minute, specialists, surgery, bits ripped out of neck..

The NZ health system doesn't work that fast.
Last Edit: September 11, 2013, 08:58:09 am by Spacemonkey

Reply #21 Posted: September 11, 2013, 08:32:02 am

Offline winter

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YAYYYYYYY TIWA IS BACCCCCCCCCCK!! :D

Reply #22 Posted: September 11, 2013, 08:49:41 am

Offline private_hell

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Reply #23 Posted: September 11, 2013, 09:22:17 am
"Let him who desires peace prepare for war" - Flavius Vegetius Renatus (375AD) De Rei Militari


Offline Scunner

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Have you checked your poo Berg?



Reply #24 Posted: September 11, 2013, 10:56:12 am