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General => General Chat => Topic started by: Apostrophe Spacemonkey on February 12, 2013, 08:31:10 am

Title: New position open: Pope.
Post by: Apostrophe Spacemonkey on February 12, 2013, 08:31:10 am
The Pope has quit yo

http://www.stuff.co.nz/world/europe/8289971/Pope-Benedict-to-step-down

I'm going to apply for Pope, i'll make a good Pope I think.
Title: I lost $20 in the last papal elections
Post by: Tiwaking! on February 12, 2013, 09:49:30 am
Oh good! This allows me another opportunity to vote for a Black Pope (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Francis_Arinze)
Title: New position open: Pope.
Post by: Apostrophe Spacemonkey on February 12, 2013, 10:18:47 am
Ok, Bets are on.


(http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/7/7f/Joao_braz_de_aviz.jpg/220px-Joao_braz_de_aviz.jpg)
Joao Braz de Aviz
Brazil, 65

(http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/c/cc/Archbishop_Timothy_Dolan_20090519.jpg/220px-Archbishop_Timothy_Dolan_20090519.jpg)
Timothy Dolan
USA, 62

(http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/d/de/Cardinalouellet.jpg/220px-Cardinalouellet.jpg)
Marc Ouellet
Canada, 68

(http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/c/cb/Gianfranco_Ravasi.jpg/220px-Gianfranco_Ravasi.jpg)
Gianfranco Ravasi
Italy, 70

(http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/1/1e/Leonardo_Sandri.jpg/220px-Leonardo_Sandri.jpg)
Leonardo Sandri
Argentina, 69

(http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/5/5c/Odilo_Scherer_22072007.jpg/150px-Odilo_Scherer_22072007.jpg)
Odilo Pedro Scherer
Brazil, 63

(http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/a/ac/Schoenborn-Altoetting1.jpg/220px-Schoenborn-Altoetting1.jpg)
Christoph Schoenborn
Austria, 67

(http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/3/3e/AngeloScola.22-03-2009.jpg/220px-AngeloScola.22-03-2009.jpg)
Angelo Scola
Italy, 71

(http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/1/1a/Cardinalem_Luis_Antonio_Tagle%2C_Archeviscopo_di_Manile_Filippine.jpg/220px-Cardinalem_Luis_Antonio_Tagle%2C_Archeviscopo_di_Manile_Filippine.jpg)
Luis Tagle
Philippines, 55

(http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/a/ae/Cardinal_Tukson_987.jpg/220px-Cardinal_Tukson_987.jpg)
Peter Turkson
Ghana, 64
Title: New position open: Pope.
Post by: The Demon Lord on February 12, 2013, 10:21:48 am
Catholicism - LOL
Title: New position open: Pope.
Post by: Retardobot on February 12, 2013, 10:23:33 am
They need to stop choosing old dudes who're so close to croaking.

They need someone with staying power.
Title: New position open: Pope.
Post by: Apostrophe Spacemonkey on February 12, 2013, 10:26:05 am
Quote from: Retardobot;1517767
They need to stop choosing old dudes who're so close to croaking.

They need someone with staying power.

Agreed. The youngest guy there is 55.

They need some hip young 30ish guy. I'd vote for him.
Title: New position open: Pope.
Post by: The Demon Lord on February 12, 2013, 10:37:58 am
Quote from: Spacemonkey;1517768
Agreed. The youngest guy there is 55.

They need some hip young 30ish guy. I'd vote for him.

They are all too busy molesting choir boys while they can still get erections
Title: New position open: Pope.
Post by: Nostargate on February 12, 2013, 10:55:37 am
You forgot one monkey.................

(http://wa2.cdn.3news.co.nz/3news/AM/0-Articles/182538/420_briantamaki.jpg)
Title: New position open: Pope.
Post by: Craigor on February 12, 2013, 11:20:25 am
Someone at my workplace suggested they get with the times and make a reality TV show

People can like, audition, and we can have text votes and stuff
Title: New position open: Pope.
Post by: Apostrophe Spacemonkey on February 12, 2013, 11:24:29 am
Quote from: Craigorsarus;1517774
Someone at my workplace suggested they get with the times and make a reality TV show

People can like, audition, and we can have text votes and stuff

Survivior: Pope Edition.
Title: New position open: Pope.
Post by: Retardobot on February 12, 2013, 11:41:58 am
Outwit, outplay, outlast...

It'd have to be a short season.

"Umm, guys, we're only on day 2 of shooting for the season and all our popes have died".

"WHAT!? What happened?"

"They just all fell asleep".
Title: BBCAmericaTV - RICKY GERVAIS My Ugliest Self-Photos
Post by: Tiwaking! on February 12, 2013, 12:07:16 pm
Quote from: Craigorsarus;1517774
Someone at my workplace suggested they get with the times and make a reality TV show

The pope already has his own Twitter (https://twitter.com/Pontifex)

Which oddly enough makes him technologically ahead of me
Title: New position open: Pope.
Post by: The Demon Lord on February 12, 2013, 12:17:15 pm
I think they should vote for this guy:

[ATTACH=CONFIG]7744[/ATTACH]

It would give the Catholic church a air of openness and honesty
Title: New position open: Pope.
Post by: BerG on February 12, 2013, 01:50:04 pm
What we need to have is the worlds first(?) black pope. Then the following pope needs to be a woman. Then the following pope needs to be a black woman. Then the following pope needs to be a gay black woman. Then the following pope needs to be a gay black transgender woman who was born a man. Then we will finally have equality.

And the following pope will be a cyborg.
Title: New position open: Pope.
Post by: benlav on February 12, 2013, 04:22:31 pm
what do you call the former pope?
eggs benedict

har har har.
Title: New position open: Pope.
Post by: Munchie on February 12, 2013, 06:41:07 pm
Why not have a female pope :P
Title: New position open: Pope.
Post by: Speakman on February 12, 2013, 06:44:15 pm
Pope Resigns.

True Catholic pulls out early.
Title: New position open: Pope.
Post by: BeNZene on February 12, 2013, 10:14:30 pm
Quote from: Speakman;1517844
Pope Resigns.

True Catholic pulls out early.

I hear his manager is claiming that everyone knew that this Pope was only down for 10 rounds.
Title: New position open: Pope.
Post by: Zarkov on February 12, 2013, 10:24:59 pm
Pope took a dive imo.

God never laid a glove on him.
Title: New position open: Pope.
Post by: BeNZene on February 12, 2013, 10:50:46 pm
Go The Onion!
[h=1]Resigning Pope No Longer Has Strength To Lead Church Backward[/h]http://www.theonion.com/articles/resigning-pope-no-longer-has-strength-to-lead-chur,31248/
Title: New position open: Pope.
Post by: Munchie on February 12, 2013, 11:21:04 pm
Love the Onion
Title: New position open: Pope.
Post by: BerG on February 13, 2013, 04:22:19 am
Quote from: Munchie;1517842
Why not have a female pope :P

Because God thinks women are inferior.

Serious.
Title: New position open: Pope.
Post by: Xenolightning on February 13, 2013, 07:33:26 am
Quote from: BerG;1517898
Because God thinks women are inferior.

Serious.
The bible has some good parts.
Title: New position open: Pope.
Post by: The Demon Lord on February 13, 2013, 07:41:26 am
Quote from: BerG;1517898
Because 200 AD Arabs think women are inferior.

Serious.

Fixed
Title: New position open: Pope.
Post by: Bounty Hunter on February 13, 2013, 08:27:17 am
It's which ever one looks like a sith lord.
Title: New position open: Pope.
Post by: Apostrophe Spacemonkey on February 13, 2013, 08:37:15 am
Quote from: BeNZene;1517893
Go The Onion!
[h=1]Resigning Pope No Longer Has Strength To Lead Church Backward[/h][url]http://www.theonion.com/articles/resigning-pope-no-longer-has-strength-to-lead-chur,31248/[/url]


It's true however.

At least John Paul was a progressive forward thinking Pope. He actualy did quite a few good things.

Then Benedict comes along and stays steadfast on old outdated beliefs, at the crital time when the church should instead being doing the opposite.


And what the hell is this crap.
Quote
Thanks for visiting theonion.com.

You have arrived at your 30-day allowance of 5 free premium pages from America's Finest News Source. If you enjoy our probing and analytical journalism and want full access, we ask that you support our hardworking reporters by purchasing a subscription for as low as $2.95/ month or $29.95/ year.


I want my onion.
Title: New position open: Pope.
Post by: Munchie on February 13, 2013, 03:45:25 pm
How about no Pope and no more Vatican oooo yeah!
Title: New position open: Pope.
Post by: Pyromanik on February 13, 2013, 11:14:47 pm
Quote from: Munchie;1517842
Why not have a female pope :P


Because there are no female bishops, duh.
Title: New position open: Pope.
Post by: Lyesalot on February 14, 2013, 12:51:00 am
Isn't the Christchurch bishop female?
Title: New position open: Pope.
Post by: BeNZene on February 14, 2013, 10:52:10 pm
Quote from: Lyesalot;1518026
Isn't the Christchurch bishop female?

Not Catholic though.
Title: New position open: Pope.
Post by: SteddieEddie on February 15, 2013, 04:29:44 pm
I think there has been a Cardinal mistake
Title: New position open: Pope.
Post by: The Demon Lord on February 15, 2013, 04:52:11 pm
Quote from: SteddieEddie;1518182
I think there has been a Cardinal mistake

It wouldn't have happenend if there wasn't so much Pontif-icating
Title: New position open: Pope.
Post by: Speakman on February 16, 2013, 12:12:25 am
(http://24.media.tumblr.com/76e99e3635f412162e1ae382ba7b38c7/tumblr_mi8xqtbaPR1s2nn0io1_500.jpg)

Dougal for pope
Title: New position open: Pope.
Post by: Pyromanik on February 16, 2013, 01:08:45 am
I voted Timothey Dolan on the basis his name sounds like Timothey Dalton.
But that was before I knew there was a black candidate.
Title: New position open: Pope.
Post by: Zarkov on February 16, 2013, 05:47:47 pm
LOL at the black guy thinks he can be pope.

asif.
Title: New position open: Pope.
Post by: Bounty Hunter on February 16, 2013, 05:57:48 pm
Quote from: Zarkov;1518256
LOL at the black guy thinks he can be pope.

asif.

A black man became president of the united states?
Title: New position open: Pope.
Post by: BerG on February 16, 2013, 06:24:43 pm
Quote from: Bounty Hunter;1518257
A black man became president of the united states?

Unlike the Catholic Church, USA is not COMPLETELY full of backwards rednecks.
Title: New position open: Pope.
Post by: Apostrophe Spacemonkey on February 18, 2013, 08:41:08 am
Quote from: Speakman;1518215


Dougal for pope


Hell yes, Dougal is awesome.


I like his list of things that don't exist.

Title: Pope Jack 1, the Beneficient
Post by: Tiwaking! on February 18, 2013, 07:48:00 pm
Quote from: Speakman;1518215
Dougal for pope

Pff. Dougals an idiot.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1vlOhj4eTpA
Title: The Pope has resigned??? I am so shocked!
Post by: Tiwaking! on February 26, 2013, 10:15:40 am
Take it away: Charlie Brooker!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LVdKzMe07Tc
Title: New position open: Pope.
Post by: Bounty Hunter on February 26, 2013, 05:37:43 pm
My brother is running for pope.
Title: New position open: Pope.
Post by: Apostrophe Spacemonkey on March 15, 2013, 04:38:32 am
Sorry, Jorge Bergoglio was not on the poll.

The Vatican can't do anything right.

Go back and pick Peter Turkson.
Title: New position open: Pope.
Post by: Obble on March 17, 2013, 11:25:27 am
(http://i.imgur.com/TbgDwbK.gif)