and thread derailed massively ....

dont go . i like the quiet here .
The debate of how and will the one sex will function without the other has been ongoing for generations. We are now going to solve it once and for all. First we look at the world without men...


FIRST DAY
The power goes off. All electrical devices are now useless. Many trucks laden with food sit idle. Supermarket shelves are left unstocked.


FIRST MONTH
Women in towns are starving. The economy is dead. Women are forming gangs to loot whatever food is left and kill anyone that opposes them. 10% are now dead.


FIRST YEAR
Hardly anyone is left alive in the cities. Women forage for any food they can get. The buildings are falling apart. 90% are dead


TEN YEARS WITHOUT MALES
99% of the population is dead


ONE HUNDRED YEARS WITHOUT MALES
The last female died 50 years ago. Nature has taken over the planet


Now let's look at the world without women...


FIRST DAY
Chaos ensues in all businesses. The work force has all but disappeared. Credit card companies and banks lose 89% of their clientele.


FIRST WEEK
Female retail stores close, 95% of shoe stores close. Other stores still open and trading normal. Electricity gas and other utilities continue to function.


FIRST MONTH
Retailers show a downturn in profit by 70%. Men now have more money to spend and are starting to think on what to spend the extra money on: new car, boat, fishing gear. The government is talking about reducing taxes Stock market is gaining ground.


FIRST YEAR
The government has halved the tax rate from the previous year and still has a massive surplus. There is a boom in leisure activities.


TEN YEARS WITHOUT WOMEN
Scientist in Tokyo, Paris and London discover how to clone human cells to make babies. A new generation of humans is already on the way. Life is getting better.


ONE HUNDRED YEARS WITHOUT WOMEN
The lifespan of man has increased by 15 years due to lack of stress.

i am like, wut ?

jesu ,8 years of reading this stuff ?

i had thai last night ,now my arse feels like a japanese flag .....

still need cheap vid card...

jesus fucking christ . what a fucking twat . did he think they wouldnt hurt .cant believe the tattooist actually reasoned with him , i would have left the numpty with a half finished one.

Mike was going to be married to Karen so his Father sat him down for a little chat.


He said "Mike, let me tell you something. On my wedding night in our honeymoon suite, I took off my pants, handed them to your mother, and said 'Here, try these on'. She did and said 'These are too big. I can't wear them'. I replied 'Exactly... I wear the pants in this family and I always will". Ever since that night, we have never had any problems!"


"Hmmm" said Mike. He thought that might be a good thing to try.


The big day comes and goes and before you know it, Mike is on his honeymoon. Mike took off his pants and said to Karen "Here, try these on!" She tries them on and says "These are too large. They don't fit me". Mike said "Exactly. I wear the pants in this family and I always will. I don't want you to ever forget that".


Then Karen took off her panties and handed them to Mike. She said "Here, you try on mine!" Mike did and said "I can't get into your panties". Karen said "Exactly. And if you don't change your smart-ass attitude, you never will".

Two little kids are in a hospital, lying on stretchers next to each other outside the operating room, the first surgeries of the day.


The first kid leans over and asks "What are you in here for?" The second kid says "I'm getting my tonsils out, and I'm afraid".


The first kid says "You've got nothing to worry about. I had that done when I was four. They put you to sleep, and when you wake up they give you lots of Jell-O and ice cream. It's a breeze".


The second kid then asks "What are you here for?" The first kid says "Circumcision".


"Whoa!" the second kid replies "Good luck, buddy. I had that done when I was born. Couldn't walk for a year".

A teacher to a class of 8 year olds is trying to get their imaginations going one day so she says to them "Okay class, now if you could cover your body in anything in the world what would it be and why?"


So a lad puts his hand up and goes "Silver, Miss because then I could scrape it all off and buy myself a Volkswagen Golf just like my mum's got".


Another lad puts his hand up and says "Gold, Miss, because then I could scrape it all off and buy myself a BMW just like my uncle's".


The teacher is looking very impressed by these ideas when little Johnny (well it had to be really) puts his hand up and shouts "Pubic hair, teacher".


"Why on earth would you want to do that Johnny?" enquires the teacher. Johnny replies "Well, my big sister's only got a tiny amount on her body and you should see all the fucking cars outside our house!"

GOOD TIPPERS


-A generous couple made single mum and waitress Kristen Ruggiero's day when they left her a 1,000% tip - $458 for a $42 meal!


-Another waitress was given an even more amazing tip: $12,000 left in a pizza box! With five kids, that money would have really helped... but when she reported the money to the police (just in case it was a mistake), they decided to hold on to the money because it smelled like drugs.


-An anonymous couple, regulars at a Houston restaurant, left a waiter a $5,000 tip after his car was destroyed in a storm. The waiter wants to treat it as a loan, but either way it's awfully sweet.


-A Rhode Island waitress and single mum of three who has worked in the same restaurant for the last 15 years. One day last year, a couple came in and ordered a pizza, a salad and couple of beers only to settle their $42 bill by leaving $500 on the table.


-A waiter at a Houston Italian café had regularly waited on one particular couple for eight years when they handed him fifty $100 bills. The man told him to "Go buy yourself a car". The instructions weren't just random - the couple knew he'd recently lost his car when it was flooded in a recent thunderstorm.


-Johnny Depp is a tipping god. Whilst working on a film he visited a nearby steakhouse many times and on one evening, he and his group rolled in at 11:30pm and stayed for three hours while they ordered bottle after bottle of $500 wines. When they left, Depp left the serve a $4000 tip for his efforts.


-This story was the basis of the movie It Could Happen to You. In 1984, a detective was a regular at local pizzeria for eight years. The waitress waited tables there six nights a week for 24 years, he and the waitress got to know each other pretty well. One day when Robert was settling his tab, he asked the waitress if she'd be interested in splitting a lottery ticket with him instead of receiving a tip. She agreed and helped him choose the numbers. Robert called her a few days later to let her know he just won $6 million dollars and that half of that was hers.


-History repeated in 1995 when an auto parts worker in Toronto left a lottery ticket as a tip for his favourite waitress. He asked her to let him know if she won anything and she agreed to share any prizes from the ticket. A few days later, the ticket ended up being worth $184,700, meaning both parties got a cool $92,350.


-If you're a celeb and you're going to become a regular at a place, be like Dan Akyrod. According to one waitress, when the star visits her Syracuse restaurant he regularly leaves either $100 or 50 percent of tab, whichever is larger.


-While running for office, Barack Obama left a 900 percent tip while grabbing a beer at bar in North Carolina. He paid for a $2 beer with a twenty and told the bartender to keep what was left over.


-One waiter reports that not only is Bill Murray a big tipper - reportedly throwing down a 120 percent tip on top of a $60 check - but he's also helpful. He showed the waiter how to make lemon wedges juicier by rolling the lemon on the cutting board prior to slicing it.


-When Charlie Sheen's daughter Cassandra had her Sweet Sixteen, Sheen decided to show off his generous side by slipping event staff a cool $200 each.


-David Beckham stopped at a bar with some LA Galaxy teammates where the gang had a few beers and snacks. After racking up a $100 tab, Beckham simply added a zero to the total bill, tipping the waitress an extra $900.


-A regular café customer saw her waitress having trouble with patrons at a nearby table and decided to help pay for the service-related headache. She left a $446 tip on her bill of $5.97. That's a very sweet 7,471%.

correct , absolutely shit film , but the poonani was awesome.......

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